Please stop and think before it ends in tears
Posted: 10 March 2010 11:17 AM   [ Ignore ]
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I have been a regular traveller to Cuba for the past 6 years, seen many scams and had a few tried on me, My last visit there in November I was sat round a table talking to my Cuban amigos ( who work in the hotels ) one day and they were telling me that one of their amigos got intimate with a Canadian tourist last year and she has made a surprise visit back looking for him, He wasn’t in the hotel as he was on a weeks leave. They were telling me she said she loves him and wants to see him and would they tell him that she is in Cuba. This woman didn’t know that he was married and has children and that his wife also works at the same hotel, my amigos had to spend a week making sure she and his wife never got to know this.  I can’t understand why people don’t open their eyes more and get to know the Cuban people, how anyone can love a total stranger after 7 days is beyond me, Your heart is ruling your head, When you hear them coming out with Mi Amor, Te quiero mucho, my sweetness and all the other charming things they say, just smile and say Gracias or say what I say “stop your sweet talking”. It makes them realise your no push over.  Just leave your heart at home and take your common sense with you, You have to know someone to love them and that can take years not a week or a few months of the year.  They nearly all have a girlfriend or are married and if your willing to shower them with money and gifts and share them then good luck, Because they are willing to shower you with sweet talk and kisses so they can acquire money and gifts, so they can live a comfortable life with their family. I take gifts and give them money for their Family’s not because I want anything from them I just like making their lives a little easier. They knew when I became friends with them that I will not take any nonsense, We all like being friends and their family’s are really lovely people, none of us have to pretend because we are all just friends and we have no secrets.  They see the tourist getting taken in by other Cubano/Cubana but it takes two to tango if your willing to offer it then their willing to take it.  So Please stop and think before it all ends in tears!

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Posted: 29 March 2010 07:48 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 1 ]
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Sad to here that but i have to disagree, 2 can fall in love in 7 days….called love from the first sight smile
I am not sure of all Cubans as you discribed but may be it your bad experince or may be it is a fact…..anyone visited Cuba here wanna share??

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Posted: 21 April 2010 04:22 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 2 ]
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yes you can fall in love in 7 days but its a much stronger love that keeps it going and real. one of them is bound to let go if they can’t handle insecurity, commitments and expectations.

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Posted: 31 May 2010 01:37 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 3 ]
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grin I have never had a bad experience while I have been in Cuba, I enjoy visiting the country very much, But sorry I don’t believe in love at first sight and neither did my Cuban friends Lust yes but Love no.  I have seen someone and thought wow but I know it’s not love I’m feeling for that person it’s just lust. I prefer getting to know someone first I’m in no hurry.  smile

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Posted: 31 May 2010 04:34 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 4 ]
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I found this on a website part 1

Travelling to Cuba and Romance
Hello,

I though I share this message that a Cuban Friend of mine wrote on another website. My friend is like me. He was born in Cuba and came to the United States before he turn 12 years old, just like me. Like me, he has been told countless stories of Cuba by his Cuban Parents and he though he knew Cuba by the stories his parent had told him. Since we both started travelling to Cuba we have both discovered and experience that Cuba is nothing like the Cuba that our Parents grew up in. That Cuba is long gone and has been replace by the current Cuba that we all have seen in our travel. We both are not saying that is good or bad, it is what it is. That is all we are saying. As far as romance we both experience Romance on the Island. Myself, with a beautiful Santaguiera Doctor who is very nice person, but luckly we both notice that we came from different world. Yes, I am Cuban, it is a part of me that I always cherrish and pass on to kids, but I am also Cuban-American. The American in me does see thing a little different with that said. I give you the message that he wrote on his website. The word are so true for foreign travellers and they should read and be aware of what he writes about. He is the message:

For many of us days drag on throughout the year, committed to work and responsibilities, until the moment arrives when we are allowed an escape. We dream of this getaway, counting the days until we find ourselves on a journey to a foreign land. A plane transports us to a place where the sights, the sounds, the smells, the people, and the air are very different than what we are accustomed to. The experience of setting our feet on a distant land invigorates us; we achieve a feeling of great comfort, exhilarated to be far from home, and far from the dreadfully endless routines of our daily lives. It is a vacation; and we attempt to make every minute of the vacation count, knowing that it won’t last long enough.

For most singles—and some who are married, but we will for now avoid that matter—regardless of whether the foreign land is a ritzy Europe or an impoverished Central America, what always completes the perfect vacation—the icing on the cake, the piece de resistance—is that romantic encounter with (for the ladies) one’s Prince Charming, or (for the men) one’s princess in waiting. Regardless of whether the native has descended from great wealth or is a member of a poverty-stricken family, the encounter is always very real, and for both, very exotic.

Bear in mind that this discussion is with regard to two persons from very different worlds, cultures, and languages, meeting on that destined day, in what will become a magical moment in their lives. It may be love at first sight that began with eye contact and smiles; or possibly a love that had gradually developed between the vacationer and resident. We are discussing true and sincere loving emotions. This is not about two persons who have come together for a mutually-agreed-to business transaction that will encompass the exchange of bodies and currency.

A wonderful vacation has become perfect after a magnificently romantic dinner, a night of dancing to unfamiliar music, and drinking foreign cocktails. Standing closely together, facing each other on a terrace beneath the stars and moon. The loud music, loud talking, and laughter of others are now faded sounds of a distant background that they have exited. A gentle breeze is felt on their cheeks. They gaze into each other’s eyes and speak softly, sharing each other’s thoughts. Then there is wonderful sex, followed by an early morning stroll on the beach, holding hands. There will be trips to museums, a drive to the mountains, lunch at an outdoor café, much laughter, unforgettable songs on the radio, and many pictures taken of the couple as they hold each other tightly.

The majority of such love affairs with a foreign stranger will end at the airport with a kiss. Shortly after the tourist has returned to his or her homeland the days may be followed by a courteous exchange of letters with the now far-away love, and occasional costly telephone calls. Yet it all eventually comes to an abrupt end, the tourist having realized that it was just a wonderful vacation, and nothing more, though relishing that it will live in his or her memory forever.

There are the ones, however, that refuse to allow it all to relinquish to just a memory.

It would be unfair to criticize those who travel to Cuba for having desired to complete the perfect vacation. It would be equally unfair to accuse a tourist, who has fallen in love with the moment, of exploitation of the Cuban people, simply because he or she has become intimate with a poverty-stricken native of the island. The relationship between the Cuban and the tourist is real, just as it would be in any other nation of the world.

Both the foreign tourist and native Cuban are achieving desired goals; the traveler a memorable vacation, and the Cuban the chance for a few meals, some gifts, and the possibility of traveling to other unknown regions of the island. Both enjoy the times they share together, and they create everlasting wonderful memories. The complications occur when that final kiss at the airport is not considered final, and the couple attempts to generate a long-term long-distance relationship after the tourist has departed.

Long distance relationships are almost always at high risk for failure. While success stories are told and true, the chances of a successful relationship between two persons living worlds apart are rare. With regard to love relationships between tourists and Cubans there are many factors often ignored by the love-blind tourist; clear indications that a long-term relationship is not possible, and destined to be doomed.

Nearly all Cubans live with an inherent mechanism that compels them to survive their dire livelihood, and if possible, to prosper. For many, the arrival of a person from an outside land, and interaction with that person, provides the Cuban that opportunity, if only temporarily. This is not to say that the love affair will not be real. What is likely, however, is that any plans of extending the relationship after the tourist has departed will be a deception incorporated by both. The love-blind tourist should then remove that blindfold from his or her eyes, and understand that our hearts are often very powerful persuaders not telling us the truth.

There are numerous indications available to tourists in Cuba that if taken into perspective will lessen the possibility of a high-risk relationship. For example, any encounter in Cuba with a native who had congregated in or near an establishment frequented by tourists should be considered questionable. Cubans that were met in or around parks, bars, restaurants, nightclubs, or any other location often visited or patronized by tourists are not likely to enter into a true and sincere loving relationship. If a Cuban is going to places that tourists go, this should be recognized as a warning.

The aging male will often, in a sense of desperation, seek rejuvenation in his life, refusing to believe that he no longer has the ability to achieve happiness with an attractive lady companion that is much younger. Not realizing his actions, a challenge builds subconsciously his mind, and he sets out to meet that challenge. To conquer such a task will leave him satisfied and proud. He will rise from bed each morning knowing that he has not aged to the point of severe inabilities.

For many men this challenge and conquering occurs in the island nation of Cuba. The man may not realize the reality of the circumstance, yet his conscious surely knows that simply returning to his homeland with memories of an adventure would not complete the task. It is complete when the Cuban lover is in his homeland—far from Cuba—sharing a home, and sharing a life with him. Unfortunately, the realization for many of these men is the eventual discovery of doom, and the only thing the man will achieve is bitterness that haunts him for a very long time to come.

These are men who strongly believe that they look and feel younger than their actual age. And to prove it they travel to Cuba, and seek out a beautiful, young Cuban lady. The man believes that a big age difference is not a factor, because he is different than other men, and because his relationship with a Cuban lover is also different. He refuses to believe anything to the contrary, and his thinking is reinforced when the Cuban lady assures him that he looks great, handsome, and young. Something that she must say.

A big age difference between the tourist and Cuban will surely be a relationship at high-risk for failure. And more so if the man is or was married and has children. The tourist in Cuba can be absolutely certain that no Cuban lady will believe a man who tells her: “I am married but will soon divorce to be with you” or any words to that effect.

A Cuban lady is also unlikely to remain in a long-term relationship with a tourist if he states that he was married, because (unless the personal witnessing of divorce papers convinces her) she will believe that he is still married. The Cuban lady who has not had children is also very unlikely to want to raise a man’s children from another marriage. Even if the man tells her that the children of his previous marriage are being raised by the mother, the Cuban may believe that there will be times she is required to accept the burden. Many Cuban ladies are also very concerned with arriving in a foreign land only to be forced into a life of servitude or prostitution. Such horror stories have often returned to Cuba from abroad.

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Posted: 31 May 2010 04:40 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 5 ]
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Part 2
For many men this challenge and conquering occurs in the island nation of Cuba. The man may not realize the reality of the circumstance, yet his conscious surely knows that simply returning to his homeland with memories of an adventure would not complete the task. It is complete when the Cuban lover is in his homeland—far from Cuba—sharing a home, and sharing a life with him. Unfortunately, the realization for many of these men is the eventual discovery of doom, and the only thing the man will achieve is bitterness that haunts him for a very long time to come.

These are men who strongly believe that they look and feel younger than their actual age. And to prove it they travel to Cuba, and seek out a beautiful, young Cuban lady. The man believes that a big age difference is not a factor, because he is different than other men, and because his relationship with a Cuban lover is also different. He refuses to believe anything to the contrary, and his thinking is reinforced when the Cuban lady assures him that he looks great, handsome, and young. Something that she must say.

A big age difference between the tourist and Cuban will surely be a relationship at high-risk for failure. And more so if the man is or was married and has children. The tourist in Cuba can be absolutely certain that no Cuban lady will believe a man who tells her: “I am married but will soon divorce to be with you” or any words to that effect.

A Cuban lady is also unlikely to remain in a long-term relationship with a tourist if he states that he was married, because (unless the personal witnessing of divorce papers convinces her) she will believe that he is still married. The Cuban lady who has not had children is also very unlikely to want to raise a man’s children from another marriage. Even if the man tells her that the children of his previous marriage are being raised by the mother, the Cuban may believe that there will be times she is required to accept the burden. Many Cuban ladies are also very concerned with arriving in a foreign land only to be forced into a life of servitude or prostitution. Such horror stories have often returned to Cuba from abroad.

Cuban women will often continue a relationship after the tourist’s departure with no intention of ever leaving her country. She will tell the man everything he wants to hear. Yes I will marry you. Yes, I will leave Cuba and go to your country. But all is deception; in order that the long distance relationship continues as long as possible as a convenience to her, as long as cash and gifts the man sends continues to reach her door.

Extremely high-risk relationships are the ones that involve a tourist and a Cuban that works for the tourist industry of Cuba; such would include Cubans that are employed in hotels, resorts, restaurants, bars, nightclubs, a taxi service, and all points of interest frequented by tourists.

Janitorial workers, maids, musical band players, waiters, waitresses and others are employed in what is considered one of the most lucrative industries in Cuba. Very rarely does one ever depart this industry in Cuba, not even if offered the opportunity to live in a country considered far more prosperous. Yet they will lead a loving tourist to believe that he or she would go if marriage is proposed. It is a pretence created by the Cuban tourism worker for the same purpose previously mentioned: a continual flow of cash and gifts from the love blind tourist after he or she has returned back to their home.

What must be realized is that employees in tourist establishments have the closest access to tourists than anyone else on the island. Many of these employees (even many that are married) will allow themselves to accept the advances of a tourist.

What the tourist sometimes doesn’t realize is that a new batch of tourists has arrived after his or her departure from Cuba, new tourists that are also being courted by employees. For some male groups working at resort hotels, for example, it is common for them to observe young tourist ladies entering the resort or cabaret lounges, and secretively point out which of the ladies will be conquered, and by whom of the group. Each week, with a new bunch of tourists having arrived, the game begins anew.

And each time a tourist has left…the Cuban’s mailing list grows, as does gifts received in exchange promises of marriage and happiness. It is not uncommon for one Cuban to have such an engagement with a large number of former tourists.

While it may be true that there exists successful long-term loving relationships eventually resulting in marriage, happiness, the procreation of children, and a home shared by both, the high-risk elements had not been a factor in most of those cases.

Many will chose to ignore the high risks of such a relationship. That is because the heart is a vehicle far more powerful than any spoken or written word…or warning. Many will still fall into a world of deception. The heart remains, and so does the blindfold.

I hope that my friends words helps those who travel to Cuba and encounter romance. I am not saying that Romance between a foreigner and a Cuba can not work. I have personally sen first hand that I can work. I have an American friend who went to Cuba 6 years ago and met a beautiful girl from Moa and they started a relationship. They have been happily married now for 5 years. SHe lives with him in United States and they have 2 kids. So it can work if both of you work at it. For my friend to make it work it meant going to Cuba and practically live in Cuba for a year with her. He did found out that she DID love and he love her.

Well, I hopes this help people who are travelling to Cuba and start a new romance on the Island of Love.
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I too have never had any bad experiences while in Cuba.  But I felt sorry for the Canadian lady she didn’t know he was married and he had only been with her one night. Maybe if she had took more time in getting to know him she would of found out what he was really like.

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