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BY TRACEY EATON | The Dallas Morning News
Marriages between foreigners and Cubans have skyrocketed, and while many relationships succeed, many others fail—sometimes by design.
HAVANA—Ted Oswick has heard the tales of woe. Older men venture into Cuba and marry young, beautiful women, only to be dumped once they get back home. But Oswick said he is sure that his romance with a Havana maid is for real.
’‘I see men in their 60s with teenagers and it sickens me,’‘ said Oswick, an information technology worker from England. “But I’m not that much older than my girlfriend. I’m 54 and she’s 37. We’re both adults and we have a genuine relationship.’‘
The number of marriages between foreigners and Cubans has skyrocketed since the early 1990s, when the socialist government turned to tourism to save its economy. but while many relationships succeed, many others fall apart, leaving a trail of heartache, shattered hopes and betrayal.
Foreign diplomats who grant travel visas to couples say differences in customs, language and age can lead to trouble.
‘NAIVE’ ABOUT LOVE
‘some men figure, `I’m 50 years old. When am I ever going to have a woman who’s 20 again?’ So they get married,’‘ said a European diplomat, speaking on condition of anonymity. “But these men are naive. Not that many 20-year-olds are really in love with someone who could be their father or grandfather.’‘
Joaquín Perez found out about that the hard way. He was 71 when he traveled to Cuba from Spain, looking for love. He thought he found it in a woman who was then 28.
’‘she always told me that the age difference didn’t matter and that she liked mature men,’‘ Perez said in a letter posted in the Spanish Embassy as a warning to his countrymen.
A MARRIED MAN
A few months after their marriage, the woman stole his car and abandoned him, he alleged in the letter.
Women have sad stories of their own.
Yuneisy Perez, 29, married a Mexican man, only to find out that he already had a wife.
’‘I ended up living in an apartment he rented for me in Mexico, but he seldom slept there,’‘ she said. “After almost a year, I fled and moved in with a Mexican family. He found me and had me deported to Cuba.’‘
Foreigners can’t take Cuban women from the island without a government-sanctioned letter of invitation requiring them to pay the Cubans’ expenses abroad. Some Cubans traveling to Portugal get off the plane in Madrid, leaving their foreign lovers out to dry. But the men are often so ashamed that they don’t report it.
’‘They keep it quiet in the hope that no one will find out,’‘ a European diplomat said.
In one case, a foreigner spent $50,000 on a Cuban woman in just two weeks, he said.
’‘Meanwhile, she slept with at least three of his friends, got a job at a casino and dumped him,’‘ the diplomat said. “He called me, asking how he could have her expelled from the country. But that couldn’t be done.’‘
Cuban officials could not provide any figures on marriages between foreigners and Cubans, but scattered evidence suggests a dramatic increase.
Only 15 Spaniards married Cubans in 1990, the Spanish newspaper El País reported in 1997. That number shot to 670 by 1993 and to 1,190 by 1996, a year when 117,000 Spaniards of both sexes visited the island.
Today, Spain and Italy each record between 1,000 and 1,500 such marriages a year, diplomats say. Mexico, Canada, Germany and Portugal also see a considerable number, they say.
Certainly, tens of thousands of Cuban women—and some men—have married foreigners in the past decade, diplomats say.
Some Cuban men complain that foreigners are plundering the island of its greatest natural resource—its women.
ANNUAL VISIT
That would be people like Jorge Represa, a tourist from Spain, who says he visits Cuba every year in hope of finding a partner. ’‘Yes, I want to get married. I want someone to take care of me,’‘ said Represa, 67, who currently is seeing Yania Fabar, a 30-year-old from Havana.
Cuban officials play down the phenomenon, saying that when the Soviet Union was the country’s chief sponsor, scores of islanders married Russians and other foreigners.
Now most visitors are from Europe and Latin America, said one official, who requested anonymity, “so it’s no surprise that there are marriages. And most marry for love. I don’t agree that most Cubans marry foreigners because they disagree with the political system or want to leave the country. That’s a distortion.’‘
HORROR STORIES
But Cubans say they hear plenty of horror stories about marriages gone bad.
’‘I know of one Cuban woman who married a man from Saudi Arabia,’‘ a woman from Havana said. “She slept with his brother, and he traded her for a camel.’‘
’‘Yeah, I’ve heard that story,’‘ said another Cuban, Olga Medina, 27. “Did you hear about the Italian who put his Cuban wife in a cage? He fed her bananas and invited his friends to watch and make fun of her.’‘
No one knows how many of these stories are true, but it’s top-drawer gossip in a country torn between revolution and the encroaching outside world. Despite such experiences, some Cubans remain intent on snagging a foreigner.
PRAYING FOR A HUSBAND
’‘Every night, I hope and pray to the Virgin of Charity that I will find a husband who will take me from Cuba,’‘ a 25-year-old Havana woman said.
And sometimes there is a happy ending. Yordanka Sarmientos, 26, a former teacher who was visiting home, readily admits that she married a Spaniard ’‘for pure convenience’‘ because she wanted to live abroad.
But ’‘once I was living in Spain, I fell in love with him and he with me,’‘ she said, and they have been together since.
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i really madly in love with cuban girls
and dying to have one as a wife.
i really madly in love with cuban girls
and dying to have one as a wife.
i really madly in love with cuban girls
and dying to have one as a wife.
I have been looking at pictures of single Cuban women who want a man from overseas, and they are for the most part very beautifull. If I were single, I would start writing to them myselfe. But I do not know if I want another forigne borne wife. My wife cried for two years, and wanted to go back home to her native Philippenes every other day after I got her over here.
l will love to meet a cuban girl one day
so if you can help me just send me a letter of invitation
thank you
obinna
Does anyone know how old you have to be to marry in cuba? I am in love with a cuban man, but suspect am still under the legal age… can anyone help?
how do i get a woman and her daughter from cienfuegos,cuba to Orlando,fl ?? does she start “paperwork” in cuba ? do i start “paperwork” in the u.s. ? and if yes…......where does the “paperwork” start ? her ex-huband has authorized her to leave cuba with their daughter and has promised to sign all paperwork. I NEED DIRECTION….HELP ME IF YOU KNOW WHERE TO START ?? thank you…ciao
Michael,
Ever hear the saying “No good deed goes unpunished”.
If you need direction, I would suggest turning 180 degrees and continue in that direction.
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exuse me ............i guess i’m not as articulate as i thought i was. what the heck are you saying or suggesting, really? with re: to your last paragraph? i want to get a woman and child from there to here. whats the problem? ” do a 180 and continue…..............” i’m lost!!!!! even more now! michael
It means that you should turn around and forget about it.
Unfortunately there are many scam artists in Cuba that will do and say ANYTHING to get off the island.
I have heard many stories about Cubans seducing people into helping them or marrying them only to be left heart broken months later.
Please ask other people for their opinions.
Try http://CubaMania.com forums for more (different) advice.
Good luck.
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I worked six months to bring a twenty six year girl to America and I am in my seventys. She constanly told me how much she loved me in her emails and phone calls. I spent about 30,000.00 dolors on her. She was in my house for two hours when she told me she was in love with some one else and left the next day. Needless to say I was broken hearted, but there is no fool like an old fool.
Sam,
Thanks for sharing your story. Maybe you just saved someone else from spending $30k.
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This is my signature - get yours in Your Control Panel. Go ahead and add a link to your site. Self promotion is permitted as long as it is beneficial to our community.
I am looking for a Cuban woman between the ages of 25 to 35 for marriage. I am a young man of 26 from Nigeria. I promise to show you love and care.
To quote that famous American author Lewis Grizzard, ” Next time I get an urge to get married…to keep matters simpler; I’ll just find a woman I hate ... and go buy her a house ” 
a 70 yr odl that marries a 26 yr old and expects it to last/work is gotta be either naive or senile .....
WARNING TO FOREIGN MEN OR WOMEN MARRYING CUBANS - one of my family members who was 42 married a much younger Cuban woman who has given him nothing but trouble since he married her. He is now in the process of getting a divorce. Do yourself a favour ... turn around and don’t look back.
I understand this forum is about Cuba and I pretty much share the same opinions as the publisher about being cautious with potential scam artists out there.
However, I would like to remind everybody that Cuba is not the only country with scam artists and women pledging their love for money, as a matter of fact, this kind of people are everywhere, and you can find lots of them in the US.
How many women here had married their “adored†husbands only for their money?
And how many had later even killed them to keep their money?
There are a couple of simple rules, what looks too good to be true is likely only that and everybody should be completely sure of the person they are sponsoring before making a commitment.
The problem is that many of the men that had been lied to, simply went to Cuba, spent a week, met a lady they found on the street couple of times and later spent thousands trying to bring her home. In some cases they have not even met them in person but found them in chat rooms on the internet and after a few chat sessions they thought those women were madly in love with them.
In many of those cases there is a huge age gap, some times over 40 years of age difference.
People should know better.
I have traveled the world and seen many cultures, but the god’s honest truth of all of this is that it is all just “common sense”. I have learned a simple rule in such things, and it applies to any foreign relationship ... if the man or woman is out of your league in your home country - than you are tempting fate. Let’s face it, except is rare cases, a man or women 20 years or more younger than you has ulterior motives. It is fodder to believe otherwise. Use common sense. Foriegn relationships do work, and I know from personal experience, but the relationship has to be based on reality. Cuban, and other latin cultures, have great values and ideals and should be commended for thier attitudes in love and life, and it is easy to love them and thier culture. Marry a woman you can relate to ... similar age, etc. and fall in love with her for who she is. I use a general rule of 10 to 15 years difference as a max. If you seek a “trophy wife” that is what you will get will all that entails. If a woman seeks a “boy toy” don’t expect anything more from him later. Be realistic and use the same judgement you would in your own country. If you do this you have a pretty good chance of succeeding.
